I spoke to a good friend this morning. She lives interstate and though we only talk rarely, our friendship is still strong. She told me about her travels, about her new uni course, new business, new job as a circus trainer, and new volunteer position at a women's outreach centre. She likes to keep busy. I told her about my work over the summer, about honours at uni, about my latest joys and woes.
She told me that she and her partner (another woman) were planning to have a child over the next few years. They want a sperm donor who they know and like, who is intelligent, and who looks like them.
"You and I look alike", she said simply.
I've been thinking about it all day. Not thinking about whether or not to do it- it would be an absolute honour to offer this gift to a friend- but thinking about what it might mean.
It's an incredibly opportunity to make someone happy. To show my disdain for a law that prevents these two people, very much in love, from adopting a child. An opportunity to create a truly special bond between my friend and I. Between this child and I.
It's also an opportunity for disaster. I read a story where one such couple died and the donor, my age, was left with his biological child. There are stories of friendships disintegrating under the stress. What if we fundamentally disagree on some aspect of parenting? Could I give up that responsibility? Could I really let someone else make major decisions for a child that I know is, in some sense, my own?
It's a thrilling, terrifying prospect. I'm touched, and excited, and cautious.
I may become a father.
